Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie: Redone
by R. S. Lee
Summary: Calvin begins to notice changes in the people he knows. At first he thinks it's for the better, until he discovers the reason for the sudden changes, a reason that puts everyone on Earth in danger. Please Read and Review.
1. Preview

Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes. I have also read Swing123 and GarfieldOdie 's movie trilogy, and I think it's great. I jus decided to write a different version. Starting with the preview. I hope you like it.

(Darkness, Chainsaw buzzing)

"You've seen the comic, you've seen the previous movies done by Swing123 and GarfieldOdie(I think), but this you haven't seen…"

(_Buzzing_ stops, Spotlight shines on Calvin with chainsaw and Hobbes standing nearby.)

"I told you it'd cut through!" He laughed. "Pay up!"

"Wonder how your Mom'll take having to get us a new couch?" Hobbes asked.

"_This! Forget Rupert Chill, _(show black and white portrait of Rupert Chill)_ forget Galaxoid and Nebular, _(show black and white portrait of Galaxoid and Nebular) _forget Retro _(show black and white portrait of Retro)_, forget the evil alien army_ (show black and white portrait of aliens surrounding Calvin and Hobbes)_. No, wait, sorry, I was supposed to say, "But don't forget the alien army." _(Picture becomes colour and animated. Calvin and Hobbes scream) _You'd think I'd remember that!_

(Climatic music starts) (Show Calvin running alone.) (Show Hobbes strapped to a table.) (Show Spaceman Spiff aiming his blaster.) (Show aliens approaching Hobbes' table) (Show Stupendous Man in a flying charge) (Show Hobbes panicking face) (Show Tracer Bullet shooting his gun at aliens.) (Show Aliens charge up a death ray-type machine and point it at Hobbes) (Show Calvin dive forward screaming "Nooooooo!")

(Screen goes black, music stops. Alien voice says, "It's time to suffer Earth Supreme Potent!")

"_Watch Calvin and Hobbes The Movie: Redone. Coming to theatres August 25."_

(Shows Calvin and Hobbes in movie theatre.)

"Looks good." Calvin smiled.

"Speak for yourself" Hobbes said with his mouth open. "There're no weird alien weapons being pointed at you."

(Logo appears, Fade out)


	2. Just Another Morning

_Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes._

This is a story of friendship and heroism. This slide show will explain it all.

(Holla plays)

_Hey, oh!_  
Slide 1: Calvin and Hobbes sleeping

_What's good wit' you now?  
_Slide 2: Zoom up of alarm clock reading 8:30.

_Hey oh, Hey!  
You know what to do now;  
_Slide 3: Mom trying to pull Calvin from bed

_Holla! Holla!  
We got the rhythm,_  
Slide 4: Mom dragging Calvin down stair

_We got the most fun._

_Like this, we gonna drop the beat_  
Slide 5: Mom bringing blue oatmeal

_Rock the house, get you up on your feet  
_Slide 6: Calvin stabbing oatmeal with fork.

_Get away from the rat race  
_Slide 7: Calvin running from Mom

_It's a paaarty_

_Like that, we gonna raise the roof  
_Slide 8: Calvin at bus stop

___Let the music do it's thing to you_

Slide 9: Susie joins Calvin at bus stop; She is carrying lots of schoolbooks.  
Play ahead and get it started

Slide 10: Calvin's leg extended; Susie and books in mud pile; Calvin whistling.  
Move your body  
Slide11: Susie happy; Calvin lying face up on ground; Calvin covered in mud  
_Come on now take you for a ride  
_Slide 12: Calvin asleep in desk.

___Drop the top and dance all night_

Slide 13: Calvin writing random equations on board.

___Life is good so let me hear you holler_

_Hey, oh!  
_Slide 14: Calvin paying off Moe.

_What's good wit' you now?  
_Hey oh, (Hey!)  
_Slide 15: Calvin running from dodge balls being thrown._

_You know what to do now;  
Holla! Holla!  
_Slide 16: Calvin sleeping in desk.

___We got the rhythm,  
We got the most fun. _

_Hey, oh!  
What's good wit' you now?  
_Slide 17: Calvin dancing in celebration.

_Hey oh, (Hey!)  
You know what to do now;  
Holla! Holla!  
_Slide 18: Clock reads 3:00.

___We got the rhythm,  
We got the most fun._

_Jump back, a-brush side to side  
_Slide 19: Calvin opens door.

_Roll your booty 'round from left to right  
Look at you, here we go now  
_Slide 20: Calvin screams.

___I think you got it_

_That's right, where you take it though  
_Slide 21: Hobbes pounces on Calvin.

_Up, up, up is where you want to go  
The kick box, feel the bass talk  
_Slide 22: Calvin and Hobbes hug.

___Now baby work it now_

_That's exactly how we do  
Bringing the party to you  
_Slide 23: Calvin and Hobbes building snow fort.

___Life is good so let me hear you holler_

_Time flies on, don't waste it frowning  
_Slide 24: Calvin and Hobbes building snowballs.

_Come go with me and let your hea-head down  
_Slide 25: Dad on ground pounded by snowballs.

___Ride your groove and let it out  
Don't stop! Keep it hot  
(keep it hot, keep it hot, keep it hot, keep it hot)_

Slide 26: Calvin and Hobbes locked in Garage  
_Let me hear you holler  
(keep it hot, keep it hot, keep it hot, keep it hot)_

_Hey, oh, he-ey  
_Slide 27: Calvin cowering in fear; Mom bringing in meal.

_Hey, oh, he-ey  
Hey, oh, he-ey  
_Slide 28: Calvin stabbing the meal dead in front of family

___How.  
Let me hear you holla!_

_Hey, oh, he-ey  
_Slide 29: Calvin running from Mom

_Hey, oh, he-ey  
Hey, oh, he-ey  
_Slide 30: Calvin being carried upstairs by Dad.

___How.  
Let me hear you holla!_

_Come on everybody holla  
_Slide 31: Mom collapsed on living room floor; room trashed.

___You don't have to bring a dollar  
Come on up and do your thing_

_____Come on-a make your body sing _

Slide 32: Dad snoring; book Hamster Huey and The Gooey Kablooyie open on lap.  
_If you wanna jump and dance_  
_Come on-a make your body dance  
Come on yeah_

Slide 33: Calvin in Hobbes asleep in bed.  
_Come on ja  
Jump up and HOLLA!_

___(Song stops)_

"And that's our target. Has anyone got a question?" A slimy, 5-foot creature with one bug-like-eye said as he turned off the television screen, it's four tentacles flailing around, as it turned to a whole crowd of similar aliens. Three raised their hands

"You, to the left" The alien at the television said.

"Thanks Commander Lock… I just wanna ask…" One of the aliens started.

"The other left!" Lock interrupted annoyed.

"Thanks! Why are we after this Earthling?" The alien to the left asked.

"I told you people that five times already. Because, this earthling, despite his appearances, is the Earth Supreme Potent." Lock answered. "Or at least that's what we heard from these two aliens we met. Their names were Gaxoid and Nebar or something like that. I didn't really like them. Now, you at the back, your turn, ask away."

"Alright…" The first alien started.

"Not you, the one at the back!" Lock sneered.

"Is it true you wear those bunny slippers that the Earthlings wear?" The alien at the back asked.

Lock glared at the alien. "Okay… you at the front-right… ask away!"

"Same question." The first alien stated.

After that, Lock screamed in anger, "GUARDS TAKE THEM AWAY!"

A bunch of taller aliens burst in and grabbed the two. Once the two aliens were removed, Commander Lock cleared his throat.

"Okay, the Earthlings are having some kind of a celebration tonight. We are going to switch their fireworks with a rather ingenious device. You are going to sneak in. The blasters you've been equipped with will send enemies into an alternate dimension. Use them if anyone sees you…"

_____

* * *

Calvin stared at the board. Mr. Spittle was there, doing nothing but stare. Calvin was plain bored. He hated the "No talking" rule of detention, he didn't want to do home work; he didn't even remember what he'd done to deserve detention. Calvin hadn't done anything bad, that anyone knew of. There was nothing to do but stare, and stare, and stare…_

___"__Calvin," a mysterious voice cried. "Wake up!"_

_____Calvin's head jerked up," But… I'm not asleep!"_

___"__Calvin! No talking! An extra two hours of detention for you, loud mouth!" Mr. Spittle screamed._

___"__But…" Calvin stammered._

___"__Calvin!" The voice repeated. "I said wake up!"_

_____"But…"_

___"__I said no talking!" Mr. Spittle roared._

_____Calvin froze. Mr. Spittle's head popped off of him and began circling Calvin, repeating the words, "No Talking" over and over. _

___"__Wake up!" The voice cried._

_____Suddenly the detention room began shaking. Calvin fell out of his chair. Two desks fell over and buried the young child. The voice began repeating "Wake up" as Mr. Spittle's head continued circling Calvin. With the room shaking, Calvin being buried under desks and the voices, there was nothing for the six year old to do, but scream._

___**

* * *

**_

Calvin woke up with his dad shaking him. He looked out the window to see that it was still dark outside. It figures, a nightmare and a premature waking.

"It's going to be one of those days!" Calvin thought. 

"Once again, wake up!" He screamed. "You're going to be late for school!"

"It's New Years Eve and Saturday!" Calvin muttered sleepily.

"I know!" Calvin's Dad said. "I just thought that doing this drill would make it easier for you to wake up when it's time for school. And waking up early is good for your…"

"Character!" Calvin finished as he glanced at the alarm clock. "Dad, it's 4: 00 in the morning."

"I know. I was about to go on a nice bike ride." Calvin's Dad laughed. "How would you like to come with me?"

"About as much as I'd like to go to summer school!" Calvin answered as he clutched the blanket.

"I can sign you up for that." Calvin's Dad offered.

"No!" Calvin screamed.

"What's going on Calvin?" Calvin's Mom asked from her bedroom.

"Mom! Make Dad go away!" Calvin roared.

"Honey, you tried." Calvin's Mom replied. "Let us go to sleep."

"Okay." Calvin's Dad answered hurt as he left Calvin's room. "Okay."

Calvin turned to Hobbes, who had just woken up.

"Jeez Hobbes," Calvin said. "Is there something wrong with my father?"

"Definitely!" Hobbes muttered. "The nerve of waking us up a half hour earlier than we usually wake up.. Some people."

"Sometimes I just wish he'd change." Calvin said.

"I agree." Hobbes replied.

* * *

Calvin's Dad walked to the garage. He got on to his bike, nearly in tears. 

Was it his fault he wanted to spend time doing what he liked? Was it his fault he wanted to do that stuff with his son? Was it his fault that he wanted Calvin to mature into a good person? Was it his fault that he loved his son?

**

* * *

**

Calvin and Hobbes wandered through the kitchen. A little bit over an hour had past, and the two were  
playing like always.

"Spaceman Gordan," Spaceman Spiff said to his partner. "We must get to the intergalactic meeting at 6:30!"

"Right you are Spiff." Gordan replied. "However, first we must steal the bombs from the evil cereal killer."

"Bombs? Evil Cereal killer?" Calvin said. "Good job, Hobbes. I like the names."

"Thank you." Hobbes bragged. "Tigers are born with a quick wit."

"Let's just get back to our imagination!" Calvin said.

"Agreed."

"Gordan, you get the bomb squad and I'll get the bombs back." Spiff ordered.

"Roger that Spaceman Spiff!" Gordan agreed.

Calvin grabbed a chair and carried it to the closet. Hobbes went and grabbed two spoons, two bowls, some sugar and the milk.

"Spaceman Spiff is entering the Cereal killer's lair. Will he succeed in finding the bombs? Can Spaceman Gordan retrieve the bomb squad in time?" Spiff yelled aloud. "Only time will tell."

Calvin climbed up the chair and reached for his Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. They were his favourite cereal after all. Meanwhile Hobbes sat at the table with the stuff he had fetched for breakfast.

"Spaceman Gordan has succeeded in his task. He waits alongside the bomb squad and awaits Spiff." Spaceman Gordan announced.

"And Spaceman Spiff grabs the bombs in a quick bound. He runs for Gordan and the squad, but, oh no! It's the terrifying Cereal Killer!" Spaceman Spiff cried.

Calvin had grabbed the Sugar Frosted Bombs. And as he got off the chair he had come face-to-face with his mother.

"What's this about a cereal killer?" Calvin's Mom said as she grabbed the cereal box. "I thought I told you not to eat this junk?"

"But Mom," Calvin complained. "What am I supposed to eat for breakfast?"

"If you want breakfast so much," Calvin's Mom offered. "Why don't you have some oatmeal?"

"And Spaceman Spiff refuses the deal. He escapes with Spaceman Gordan and his life. Now the duo rides for the intergalactic meeting." Spiff said.

"I wonder why Mom won't let us eat Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs anymore." Calvin told Hobbes as they got seated in front of the TV "Can't she tell I love that stuff? Why won't she just change?"

"Shh! Lincon and Friends is starting." Hobbes hissed.

**

* * *

**

As Calvin took Hobbes to watch Saturday morning cartoons, Calvin's Mom read the nutritional value of the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs cereal Calvin loved.

"A hundred percent of the daily allowance of Caffeine? And look at all the fruit and veggies needed to make these premature killers healthy." Calvin's Mom thought. "Why'd I ever let my kid touch these?"

_____

* * *

_  
And that's chapter one. Please Stay tuned!


	3. Grounded

**That Afternoon…**

Calvin's parents walked into the sitting room and saw Calvin watching "Titanic Teens".

"Calvin, may we have a word?" His dad asked.

"No!" Calvin replied, still staring at the TV.

"Calvin, we think you need to…" His mom started.

"No!" Calvin replied, still staring at the TV.

Calvin's parents looked at each other.

"Do you want any dessert this year?" Calvin's dad asked.

"No!" Calvin replied, still staring at the TV.

"Calvin!" Calvin's mom cried. "Are you even listening to us?"

"No!" Calvin replied, still staring at the TV.

Calvin's mom stared incredulously. Calvin's dad rubbed his forehead. There was only one thing to do…

"No!" Calvin said, still staring at the TV.

In anger, his dad grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

"Hey!" Calvin cried.

"You've been watching television for five hours!" Calvin's dad yelled. "There is fresh snow for your sculpture things. Go and play outside."

"But "Rabbit Bird" is one of my favorite Titanic Teens episodes." Calvin complained. "You see, well, you know Bird, the girl in the cloak. Well, she…"

"I don't care. Play outside." Calvin's dad ordered.

Calvin stood up. He grabbed Hobbes and walked to the door.

"Why won't you ever change?" He screamed as he went outside and slammed the door.

Calvin's dad stood frozen. His mouth fell open in shock as Calvin's Mom hugged him

**

* * *

**

Calvin and Hobbes had gone on a walk across the block. They stopped as they saw small, fresh footprints coming from Susie's house.

"Hobbes, make a snow fort and snowballs." Calvin ordered. "I'll lure her."

"Roger!" Hobbes agreed as he began packing together some snow.

"_I'm on the suspect's trail. I know it was her. And it was darn shame. She's escaped the authorities more often then I've escaped overtime. She was mighty skilled about it too." Bullet Tracer thought as he loaded his gun. "If my hunch is correct, then she has to go down. If not, who cares, she is still going down."_

Calvin made a snowball and began following the footprints until he found Susie making a snowman.

"I've found the unsuspecting dame. I aim my weapon. She's not escaping me this time." Tracer thought as he aimed and fired…

**

* * *

**

Hobbes waited at the snow fort.

_"It's been fifteen minutes! Where is that kid?" _Hobbes thought.

Hobbes froze in fear. A snowman had begun walking towards him.

"The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons have returned!" Hobbes cried in fear.

"It's me!" Calvin said from inside the snowman. "Since when was Susie so strong?"

"Oh!" Hobbes replied embarrassed as he yanked the snowman off. "What did she do to you?"

Calvin began heading inside. But not before saying, "Let's just say, she escaped the authorities," leaving Hobbes standing clueless.

**

* * *

**

Susie kicked some snow. What a weirdo that kid was! He deserved what she'd done to him. He had attacked her for no reason. Also, that club Calvin had, GROSS, had no purpose but to torture her. As if that wasn't enough, Calvin makes all those strange snow sculptures. And he ruins all their games together. He deserves every thing she could do to him.

So why did she feel so guilty? Why does she want to spend time with him? Inviting Calvin to her birthday party, all those tea parties, the house games, why was she doing all that to herself? Why?

**

* * *

**

Calvin stormed through the house, rambling on and on to a bored Hobbes. Eventually, they entered the kitchen, and things got real messy.

"…I mean, I threw a snowball that missed, and she throws a snowman! Where's the justice in that?" He said angrily. "I hate her Hobbes! I hate my parents! I hate every human being I know!"

In anger, Calvin kicked a basketball he'd left on the floor. It hit the wall and bounced into an open cupboard above the stove, smashing a bunch of wine bottles. A shard of glass fell and hit a button, turning on the stove. A fire started and so high, it burned the cupboard, causing the cupboard to explode. Amongst the fire alarm, Calvin took a closer look to see a large hole in both the ceiling and wall. He saw that his parents' room had been damaged. Their bed and carpet had caught fire. He also saw that he hole in the wall led to another cupboard in the dining room. And they knew which one.

"Is that the cupboard your parents keep their wedding china in?" Hobbes whispered before they heard the clattering of glass.

"Hobbes, go to the phone in the living room, call the FBI Witness Protection program. Tell them that I'm at the airport, then run there and meet me." Calvin said as tried to run away.

As soon as he exited the room, he came face to face with his parents. Calvin knew of nothing else to do but give them Bambi eyes.

**

* * *

**

"What do you mean "accident"?" Calvin's dad roared. "You torched our room, wasted $60 of wine, destroyed our wedding china, and burned two cupboards down. You could've been killed!"

Calvin had been sat down in the dining room. The firemen had come and gone, and the damaged paid for.

"I kicked a ball, and next thing you know, all hell broke loose." Calvin explained again.

"That is a lame excuse! This is the worst thing you've ever done!" Calvin's mom cried.

"What about the time I crashed our car over the ditch? Or when I flooded the house?" Calvin asked out of curiosity.

Calvin's dad turned red in anger. He growled and it, causing Calvin to shake in fear.

"You are grounded major!" Calvin's mom said as calmly as she could be. "No allowance, dessert or TV for a month, and no fireworks tonight!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Calvin cried.

* * *

And that's chapter two good folks… 


	4. The First Phase

_Disclaimer: I don't own Calvin and Hobbes..._

Calvin's mom sat on the couch as the doorbell rang. She answered to find Rosalyn standing outside the doorstep.

"Thanks for coming!" Calvin's mom greeted.

"You had better appreciate this." Rosalyn sneered. "I think everyone is going to be at the countdown."

"We're sorry." Calvin's mom apologized. "But we need to do this."

"Remember, an extra ten bucks bonus." Rosalyn said grumpily. "I had been looking forward to the fireworks for weeks! What did he do to deserve missing the fireworks?"

Calvin's mom chose to ignore Rosalyn's question. "Honey!" She screamed. "Rosalyn's here!"

"Great!" Calvin's dad said as he ran past them to the car. "Calvin's in his bedroom. By the way, if the fire starts again, we put a fire extinguisher in the kitchen."

Rosalyn winced.

"Maybe I'd like a fifteen buck bonus instead." Rosalyn added.

"You've got it!" Calvin's mom said as she left.

**

* * *

**

Calvin sat on his bed sulking with Hobbes sitting nearby. How could they do that? He loved the fireworks! His year's not complete without constant explosions in his book. And forcing him with that evil woman was cruel.

"I want my explosions!" Calvin sobbed. "One fire and my parents are against you forever. For god's sake, it was an accident."

"Honey!" He heard his mom scream. "Rosalyn's here!"

"I hate her!" Calvin told Hobbes. "She never loses! We always get more punishment then reward. And her punishments are cruel and inhumane. She's scary. She's crazy. And of course she's…"

"Right behind you!" Rosalyn laughed from the door. "I heard from "never loses", were there any others I missed."

"Ouch! Bad start." Calvin moaned.

"Wait until I'm done with you kiddo." Rosalyn said as she left the room. "Follow me."

"I'm coming!" Calvin cried before addressing Hobbes. "Hobbes! Quick! Trade lives with me."

"No way Jose!" Hobbes replied.

**

* * *

**

Calvin's parents drove up to the crowd. They were amazed at the size of the bunch. The fireworks were supposed to be five blocks ahead.

"Wow! Rosalyn's right! It looks like the whole town's here." Calvin's mom said.

They hopped out of the car. And walked off to try and get a good view.

"Hey!" Moe said from nearby. "Mom! I wanna see the fireworks too!"

"Shut up you little runt!" Moe's mother said as she pushed him away. "Go bother someone else."

Moe looked around. Every other kid gets hoisted over onto their parent's shoulders but not him.

He turned to Calvin's parents. He recognized them from somewhere…

"Say, aren't you Twinkie's… I mean… Calvin's parents?" Moe asked the two.

"Yeah, we're Calvin's mom and dad." Calvin's mom said cautiously.

"Where's Twinkie… I mean… Calvin?" Moe asked.

"He's at home." Calvin's dad replied.

"Oh man, I needed to pulverize someone… I mean… talk to someone…" Moe cried before catching Calvin's parents' glares. "Bye!"

Calvin's mom shook her head as Moe ran in a random direction. What a moron that kid was! And no wonder if you look at his mother.

"I don't know about this." She said. "I don't feel right about this! I feel a little sorry for Calvin"

"Me too." Calvin's dad replied. "But I keep thinking, $9 300 in damages, $9 300 in damages. And the fact that we have to sleep on the couch."

The two felt no different. They turned and went to talk to the first person they saw.

**

* * *

**

"COME BACK HERE YOU RUNT!" Rosalyn screamed as she chased after Calvin in his Stupendous Man costume.

_"With the speed of a full throttle Mercedes, Stupendous Man speeds away from the evil Babysitter Girl." Stupendous man said as he sped away from Babysitter girl._

Calvin began running up the stairs to Hobbes, who was wearing a pillowcase around his neck to resemble a cape.

_"Rushing to the aid of our hero is Tiger Boy!" Tiger Boy cried as he dived after Babysitter Girl. "Can our mighty heroes defeat this fiend?"_

Hobbes jumped off the top of the staircase and dived after Rosalyn. He turned into a stuffed toy and bounced right off of Rosalyn to hit the floor. As she thought Hobbes was nothing but Calvin's teddy bear like tiger. She figured that somehow Calvin had booby-trapped Hobbes to fall on her. Calvin had booby-trapped her before after all!

_"Holy Mackerel Tiger Boy!" Stupendous Man cried. "You bounced off of her like a stuffed animal! I'll have to take the situation into my own hands!"_

Once he reached the top of the stairs, Calvin turned around and jumped after Rosalyn. "For justice!" Calvin cried before hitting Rosalyn in the stomach.

Rosalyn fell on her back and began sliding head first down the stairs. Calvin sat on her stomach and began hitting Rosalyn non-stop until she hit the floor. Then in a swift movement, Rosalyn kicked Calvin away to the floor!

"I'll be right back!" She sneered, holding on to her aching back.

_"Stupendous Man has been defeated. He knows not what Babysitter Girl will do, but he doesn't want to find out." Stupendous Man cried, clutching where he'd been kicked. "Can his loyal sidekick help our wounded hero?"_

Calvin lied down on the floor. He was in quite a bit of pain. Not because He knew Rosalyn had won.

"He could if he hadn't jumped off the top of a staircase." Hobbes said, lying a few feet away.

"Wuss…" Calvin said.

**

* * *

**

Moe still was unable to see the fireworks. He had such a stupid mother. Why did all the other kids get special stuff from their parents? His only good toy was the truck he'd stolen from Calvin..

"10… 9… 8…" The crowd began chanting.

It was his last chance.

"Mom, can I please…" Moe cried.

"Shush! 7… 6… 5…!" She replied.

Moe sat down on the pavement disappointed. That was it. No fireworks for him.

"4… 3… 2…" The crowd cried.

Almost time.

"1… 0!" The crowd celebrated.

Moe heard the first firework go off. He let a tear go out and waited for the fireworks to end.

Except he didn't hear anymore fireworks. Confused, he looked up to see the fireworks weren't going off. And the crowd had vanished.

"What the…" Moe said as he looked around the empty streets.

* * *


	5. The Second Phase has Begun

_Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes._

Scar was not anyone's nomination for "Most Merciful King". In fact, he was the lowest on the list. He was the kind of Zeker that killed his underlings. That's what Gassendi was afraid of. He'd seen it happen to Zekers who'd made much smaller blunders.

Gassendi was freaked out about the bad news. But he had to give it. His fear began maximized as he entered the King's Quarters. As Scar was thirteen feet tall, and had ten twenty foot tentacles; who wouldn't have been scared.

It was unfair. The device was able to transport anyone and everyone who saw the firework trap to the fifth dimension. It was supposed to be the perfect plan. The mole said everyone would go to the fireworks. Of course the mole hadn't known about the Supreme Earth Potent, so they shouldn't listened to that nitwit.

"Who enters my domain?" The feared Zeker King cried to Gassendi.

"Hea… Head Scien…Scientist Gassendi." Gassendi stuttered at the sight of Scar's crescent moon-shaped scar on the king's eyelid. "Our abduction went with a small hitch. Four of the Earthlings in the village didn't see the firework trap. And two of the Earthlings were sort of…"

"If you say the Target and his tiger, you'll die painfully and slowly." Scar sneered.

"I'm s…sorry master!" Gassendi cried. "And that's not it, one of the remaining villagers kind of saw the other Earthlings get sucked into the fifth dimension. We think he's going to warn the Target. If he succeeds, there's a good chance of them attempting a nuclear strike."

Scar screamed loudly, causing Gassendi to cringe in fright.

"GUARDS. TAKE. THIS. IMBECILE. TO. THE. DUNGEONS." Scar cried. "MAKE. SURE. HE. SUFFERS. ENOUGH. FOR. HIS. EXECUTION. WHEN. WE. GET. BACK. HOME."

A bunch of Scar's guards burst in at once. Without hesitation, they grabbed a speechless Gassendi and dragged him away.

Scar shook his head. Things were getting complicated. They kidnapped that president guy and replaced him with a clone. Which reminded him, they outta let that bore go back; he was so long winded. Then they hear of this Supreme Earth Potent. So they target him and his village, but Dr. Gassendi's invention fails.

Scar needed another plan. However, there was something he needed to do first…

Scar pressed a button. "Commander Lock! Gassendi failed. An Earthling knows about the fifth-dimension-on-sight device. He is the new primary target. Do not let him get to the Earth Potent!"

"We're already after him!" Lock replied.

* * *

Moe ran. He didn't know what had happened at the fireworks. Yet, an army of aliens was attacking him. Why? What was going on? 

Moe turned his head to see around forty aliens getting nearer and nearer.

"No!" Moe cried as he tried to speed up and ran for the nearest building he saw.

"_Please don't be locked!" _Moe thought as he tried to open the front door. However, his hopes were unsatisfied. The door was locked. Aliens had surrounded him. Even before one of them blasted him with a strange gun, Moe knew it was over.

And once the smoke from the blast that had hit Moe had risen, he was gone.

One grabbed a headphone. "Commander Lock, the target has been neutralized."

They turned around and left for the skyscraper they'd landed the ship on. Now to let it all boil.

* * *

Scar sat at his throne trying to think about the earthling's defeat. However, he was being bored stiff. Him and Lock sat waiting for his advisor Palminetti to finally shut up. 

"…And that's my plan sire!" Palminetti finished.

"Say it in simple Zekerland, Palminetti." Lock ordered.

"Well sir, there technically is no Zekerland language. We head from planet to planet and adopt the nearest civilization's primary language." Palminetti corrected. "Right now, we've been using the Earth language "English"! So the term is…"

"We don't need to hear it! I want a simple idea of your plan!" Scar screamed.

"Fine! I say we kidnap the other earthling, make clones of all the residents of the fifth dimension, leave the targets to get pleased with themselves, then we'll kidnap the tiger creature and hold him ransom." Palminetti said. "I've been watching him; the Potent doesn't seem to care about anyone but the tiger. If we take the tiger to our ship, he will be sure to bargain with us."

Lock shook his head. "You are an idiot. We can't let anything into our ship and let it live!"

To the two's shock, Palminetti began laughing evilly.

"I know!" He said in between laughs. "But I said nothing of giving him back."

"Nice, but I say we just burst in, kill the tiger and the Earth girl, and force the Potent to give us Earth." Scar replied firmly.

"No my lord, I've see this human do weird things. He'd have a nuclear strike done on us faster before we even manage to enter." Palminetti answered. "But with my idea, we'll be able to get the Potent easily."

"Fine! We'll try it your way!" Scar answered. "Start the cloning process. And get the girl."

Calvin slept soundly with Hobbes at his side unaware of the terror that was seeking them. Meanwhile, Rosalyn drank another cup of coffee.

* * *

"_Where is everyone? The fireworks ended four hours ago."_ Rosalyn thought as she looked out the window at the empty houses on the block. 

She sat down on the couch and began watching late night TV.

"If I see one more movie about aliens, clones, alternate dimensions, or stuffed toys that are actually alive, I will go mad!" She said aloud as she flipped through the channels. Until, the remote jammed on a channel with a weird, dark green alien with four slimy tentacles and one large, bug-like eye.

"Earthling girl…" The alien said.

Rosalyn sighed as she walked up to the TV change the channel.

"I am Commander Lock of the Zekers!" Lock continued.

She froze. The channel wasn't changing.

"Your kind will soon be annihilated."

Freaked out, Rosalyn walked to the plug in and pulled out the wire.

"You can't get rid of this broadcast." Lock said annoyed. "So stop trying."

"Wha… What's go… going on?" Rosalyn asked.

"We have a rather ingenious invention allowing this." Lock answered. "You are of the last three in this village."

"What did… did you do?" Rosalyn gawked.

"It doesn't matter. You'll join them right about now!" Lock said.

Suddenly, a large light emitted from the TV. It was so bright, that it engulfed the entire house. And once the light disappeared, Rosalyn had vanished. And the TV had finally turned off…


	6. Good times

_Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes, but I do own the aliens. And I added a formerly deleted scene to the second chapter.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes sat at the dinner table. They looked at the dancing goo his mom had mad for them. They seemed to be doing a disco dance._

_"Do I have to eat this Mom?" Calvin asked desperately._

_Calvin's Mom looked about to reply before the goo began singing "Burn Baby Burn"._

"_Of course dear." His mom answered._

"_Now Calvin…" Calvin's Dad said, as Calvin sighed in disappointment and began mimicking his dad._

"_Eating dancing goo is good for your character." Both said at the same time._

"_Geez Calvin. This all reminds me of your uncle Max. Did I ever tell you that…?"_

"_Oh no! I triggered a slow death!" Calvin sobbed aloud._

**Later…**

_At this point Hobbes, the goo, and Calvin's mom had all fallen asleep as Calvin continued to listen, counting the seconds his dad had been talking for out of boredom._

_"234, 879... 234, 880… 234, 881…"_

_"And then there was the time in Second Grade when Max got a C- in Math and History and…" His Dad continued._

**Even Later…**

_Calvin fondled his beard as his Dad continued to drone on and on. Hobbes and Mom had left, while the goo had stabbed themselves dead with whatever silverware they could reach._

_"5, 000, 092, 191…"_

_"__And of course I can't ever forget the time Max…" Calvin's dad droned._

* * *

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Calvin cried as he woke up in a start. 

"What? What happened?" Hobbes growled sleepily.

"I bored myself awake!" Calvin sobbed. "Again."

"You woke me up because you were bored?" Hobbes complained.

"Well, if you had just shut my dad up in the dream, you wouldn't have been woken up!" Calvin replied.

"You blaming me for your bad dream?" Hobbes screamed incredulous.

"If the shoe fits…" Calvin began to bicker before being interrupted by Rosalyn's scream.

"What is she still doing here?" Calvin complained before hitting his pillow instantly.

Hobbes sighed. Calvin was out like a light. He put his head on the pillow just as an explosion of light consumed the house.

Hobbes froze. He checked to find that Calvin was still asleep. Curious, he got out of the bed and left the room. He stumbled through the hallway, down the stairs and into the living room. He looked around and noticed that the TV was unplugged.

Hobbes shrugged and plugged the TV back in. He heard the TV blare. "Next on the Twilight Zone: Evil Aliens That Suck You Into Your Own TV."

Hobbes sighed.

"What kind of human actually watches this junk?" He said as he turned off the TV.

* * *

"Ahh! And so starts another day, getting me terrifyingly close to the end of my Christmas break!" Calvin said as he woke up. "Come on Hobbes." 

"Are your parents home yet? Are you going to tell them that Rosalyn ditched us?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes to both." Calvin answered

"I'm coming. But just to watch the latter!" Hobbes replied as he bounced out of bed.

Just as Calvin opened the door, the sight of Calvin's parents bowing down to them greeted them. "How may we serve you, Master?"

"Okay…." Calvin said as he slammed the door.

He turned to face Hobbes. "What the heck was that?"

"They must be going through some kind of phase." Hobbes guessed.

"Well then I'd best be taking advantage of this." Calvin laughed manically as he opened the door.

"Mom, clean my room. Dad, make us a five-course breakfast including both Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and tuna fish. When you're done, tend to Hobbes' and my every whim!" Calvin ordered.

"Affirmative!" Both said as they ran off to do their chores.

"In the meantime, let's go outside!" Calvin laughed.

Hobbes chuckled as they exited the door to find a street full of people facing his house.

"How may we serve you, Master?" All of them roared.

Shocked, Calvin closed the door. Hobbes faced his best friend and said, "That's never happened before."

"What are the chances? An entire city is going through the same phase in the same morning? This is just perfect." Calvin smiled. He opened the door and proclaimed, "Hear me slaves. Organize yourselves into two lines." Calvin waited as the group carried out their orders. "Now, will Susie Derkins, Moe… Something, Rosalyn… Something, and… Something… Wormwood…"

"You're not very good with names are you?" Hobbes whispered.

"Shut up. Anyway, will the mentioned please break out of the line up and proceed to beat each other up into unconscious pulps."

Calvin and Hobbes gawked at the sight of Calvin's worst enemies jumping from the line and beating each other up under Calvin's command.

"Now the front line will go demolish my school as the back line takes me down town to buy me everything I want." Calvin ordered. "Mom, Dad, remember, as soon as you're done, smother Hobbes in anyway he sees fit."

Hobbes stared away as Calvin was carried away by the back line and wondered something. How did Calvin get so good at the Dictatorship stuff? Whatever! The fight between Susie, Moe, Ms. Wormwood, and Rosalyn hadn't ended yet.

* * *

Hobbes looked out the window as Calvin arrived at the driveway, followed by hundreds of slaves carrying high-tech stuff. He saw Calvin walked to the door. It was time for a little bit of appreciation for his best friend. 

"I'M HOME!" Calvin roared before seeing Hobbes charge at him. "Oh crap!"

Hobbes dived into Calvin, sending the six year old falling onto the ground. Hobbes got up harmlessly and chuckled before hearing many outraged voices.

"You have harmed our Master!"

"You will die for your evil assault!"

"Execute the traitor!"

"No one hurts our ruler. We will avenge Master Calvin the Bold, Great, Genius, and Handsome."

Hobbes gawked at their murderous, glowing green eyes. " Stay back! I don't want to hurt you. I have unlimited courage and won't stop savagely protecting myself until you've all given up. I'm warning you. CALVIN, SAVE ME! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" He screamed before an army of people jumped onto a terrified Hobbes.

Calvin jumped up and ran to the dog pile on Hobbes. "Get off him!" Calvin ordered. "Everybody get off! This is an order!"

The group stopped immediately and faced Calvin. "We apologize for our mistake, master. If you should need our unlimited services, give us a holler."

Calvin ran over to find his friend missing three whiskers, and having hand marks around his neck, and teeth marks on the tail. Oh yeah, and some shoeprints on his stomach.

"Hobbes, you're okay. Good." Calvin said as he helped the tiger to his feet. "Just wait until you see what they bought me! Seriously. I've got a flame thrower, an honest to god flame thrower."

"Excuse me! Traumatized tiger here!"

"Oh come on Hobbes, they didn't hurt you that much."

"One of them bit me!"

"Okay, maybe it got a bit violent." Calvin admitted, "Anyway pal, wait 'til I show you some of the stuff they got me. I've that new PSP system, a plasma television with cable, a brand new stereo system…"

Hobbes slowly followed. Was he the only sane person left in this town?

* * *

Somewhere in Scar's ship, Lock and Palminetti watched the clones carry in the stuff Calvin had them buy for. 

"Actually Mr. R. S. Lee, shouldn't we be watching the Earth Potent instead of the clones?" Palminetti asked.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck Palminetti for no reason, teaching him to never again question the writer.

"Get off the floor Palminetti." Lock sneered. "I have a question."

"Ask away." Palminetti said, as he stood up dazed.

"Where did the clones get all that cash?" Lock asked.

"I gave them your credit card." Palminetti replied nonchalantly.

"WHAT?" Lock screamed.

Palminetti turned white as Lock began to tower over him, fists clenching. "Well, I owed a few of the guys some money so I couldn't give away my hard earned credits to some crazed clone servants. And you had left your wallet in the cafeteria, so… I… watched this guy steal it and give it to the clones under no goading whatsoever. I tried to battle him Zok-to-Zok, but he overpowered me, stole my left shoe, and… God, this story is lame!" Suddenly a second unexplained lightning bolt struck Palminetti. "I MEANT MY EXCUSE!"

And thus Palminetti learned to refer to the story that he insults.

* * *

"COME ON JASON GET UP!" Calvin cried to the television as he and Hobbes watched "Eddy vs. Jason" for the second time that night. 

"Yeah Jason, show that freak with fork fingers what a real psycho killer can do." Hobbes cheered.

"More Tuna sandwiches, Second-in-Command Master?" Susie Derkins' clone asked.

"Calvin, will you please remind her of the Tiger Protection act of this afternoon… WOW, THAT HAD TO HURT! An act of which she is currently in violation." Hobbes answered.

Calvin sighed and turned to the Susie servant. "Act 1A of the Calvin Ruling System, all servants are to stay past strangling distance away from any tiger under the name of Hobbes. NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO HIT 'EM!"

"Or Clyde!" Hobbes added.

"Why should they stay away from some tiger named Clyde?" Calvin scorned.

"No reason, I just like that name! COME ON, THAT WAS A CHEAP SHOT!"

"Well, Master, do you want anything of my services?"

"Just stay out for fifteen-twenty minutes." Calvin ordered.

"As you wish!" "Susie" said as she ran out of the room.

Hobbes waited for a bit. "Do you think we've watched enough to be manly?"

"Yes!"

"Should we run into our room and lock all the doors and windows?"

"Couldn't hurt." Calvin answered.

Hobbes turned off the TV. "Should we

"Sure. HELP ME! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Calvin screamed as he ran upstairs, straight into his room.

Hobbes stared for a second. "Oh that's right! Leave me to lock the doors."

* * *

On a side note, will somebody please review? 


	7. The Downside

Disclaimer: I only own the aliens. And the songs by Calvin are owned by Swing123 and GarfieldOdie. Hobbes' song is a spoof of the Aerosmith-owned song, Spider-Man

* * *

_Calvin ran in fear as Eddy and Jason followed. These guys were relentless. Calvin turned the corner to find a flower decorated door._

_He paused and pondered what to do. It was either death by psychos, or going through feminine door. Although slightly reluctant, Calvin began running again. Nobody would ever know._

_He opened the door to find an army of Susies._

_"Hi, Calvin! Do you want to play with me?" They all said at the same time._

_In an instant, Calvin slammed the door and began running away as fast as he could._

_"No!" Calvin cried as he woke up. He jumped to his feet, and grabbed the baseball bat and cried, "No one tries to kill me. Do your worst Susie clones."_

* * *

Hobbes slowly sat up. "Three mornings in a row. You have woken me up early three mornings in a row." 

"Don't blame me for that." Calvin snapped.

"Who else do I blame?" Hobbes replied.

"Blame the horror movies on Plasma TV!" Calvin cried.

The duo heard a commotion outside of the room. Calvin opened the door to find hundreds of people looking in on him.

"Are you okay master? We heard sounds of terror." Calvin's dad said from the front.

Calvin stared. "What are you all doing here? Get out! Leave a kid alone for five minutes."

"As you wish, master." Another one replied.

Calvin slammed the door and turned to Hobbes.

"What are they doing here?" He asked.

Hobbes pointed out the window. "Take a look!"

Calvin ran to the window and saw a sea of tents pitched around the house.

"HEY!" Calvin cried. "Get out of my yard. Go home. I have spoken."

"Okay master!" They all shouted as they ran into the house, the woods, the road, and the driveway.

"A perfect example of too much of a good thing." Hobbes announced

"Shut up!"

* * *

Calvin went through a pile of his stuff, saying aloud the condition. He grabbed the flamethrower. "Needs ammo." 

He grabbed the MP3. "Broken."

The PSP. "Screen Cracked."

The GBA SP. "Soaking wet."

The Portable DVD player. "Battery gone."

Stink bombs. "Saving for a special occasion."

Calculator. "Why the heck did I buy this?"

Reading Glasses. "Wait a sec… these aren't mine."

Little did he know, a pair of eyes were watching him. Hobbes raised his head and prepared to pounce until a cold hand grabbed him by the mouth.

Hobbes struggled to fight as he heard Moe's voice. Moe flashed Hobbes a strange type of gun. "You are in breach of the Boy of Destiny Protection Act. Do that again, and we will blast you into oblivion. Do you understand that so-called second-in-command."

"Won't you be in violation of the Tiger Protection Act of Yesterday?" Hobbes asked

Hobbes heard a weird charging sound. "The master will never know. Do you understand?"

"Yeah. Completely. Without a doubt. Don't shoot me." Hobbes stammered.

"Good!" Moe answered as he put away the gun. "I'm glad we had this talk, aren't you?"

"Not really." Hobbes said before he saw Moe pull out the gun again. "Yes I am. Excellent chat. I haven't had a better one in ages. Don't shoot me. I succumb to your dark will!"

* * *

Calvin sat outside the house. He had snuck away and was searching for Susie's tent. He found hers at one of the corners. And she was just leaving her tent. 

Calvin packed together a snowball.

"Hey Susie!" He cried. "EAT SNOW!"

"Okay." Susie said as she dropped to the ground and began eating snow.

Calvin stared. This wasn't as much fun as pelting her. More interesting, yes, but not as fun.

* * *

Calvin walked out of his room with an electric guitar. "Hobbes, I just realized that I forgot to try this. I even wrote a couple songs." 

Hobbes shrugged. He had nothing else to do.

Calvin began strumming keys randomly.

_"We're Calvin and H**O-O-O-O**bbes!  
"We've got gobs of f**U-U-U-U**n!  
"Ya can't fool around with us be-cause we're CALVIN AND H**O-O-O-O**BBES!  
"so ya wanna be like us? Ya better pack a lunch! We've got lot's of talent, and FU-U-U-U-UN!  
"There are no re-PLACEMENTS for people like U-US!"_

"STOP! For the love of all that is good and pure, please stop." Hobbes roared. "For crying out loud, learn some notes."

"Learn? Work to find out something during a day off?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, either that or deafen your best friend." Hobbes answered.

"How about this?" Calvin asked as he once againstarted to play random keys. 

"I'm gonna build me a ship that can take me far away. Far from this stupid world! Calvin and Hobbes investigate! Just give me a chance to show you all existing love. Love with imperfection and you say that's not love at all. Now we know there's just too many things for you to hold on to. And for all the love your words can bring, I'll have all the loss you surely bring.  
"I'm gonna build me a ship that can take me far away. Far from this stupid world. Calvin and Hobbes investigate. Just give me a chance to show you all existing love. Love with imperfection and you say that's not love at all."

"No!" Hobbes replied quickly. "You write good Lyrics. You play horrible tune. Also, your voice is squeaky."

"You couldn't do any better!" Calvin retorted.

Hobbes reached out and grabbed the guitar. "Sure I could!"

Quickly, Hobbes recalled the rock video he'd seen of Aerosmith. He began strumming the tune to the song he'd heard. The correct tune I might add albeit with slightly different Lyrics.

_"Tiger-Man, Tiger-Man._

_"Does a little less then a tiger can._

_"Tiger-Man, Tiger-Man._

_"Still much better than a darn human!"_

In a fit of jealousy, Calvin grabbed the guitar and through against the wall. "THIS STINKS!"

"You're just jealous that you aren't in it!"

* * *

"THIS STINKS!" 

Palminetti and Lock watched Calvin on a monitor.

"But weren't we watching the clones yesterday?" Palminetti asked the writer.

Then, yet another bolt of lightning struck Palminetti for no reason.

"You really need to stop doing that." Palminetti cried before another bolt struck him, teaching him not to criticize the writer.

"I was not criticizing the writer!" Palminetti cried just before a bolt struck him, "What was that for?"

Back talking.

Lock sighed. For a strategic planner, that guy sure couldn't learn a lesson.

"I think the potent protests a bit much to be served on head and foot." Lock asked.

"Technically, they aren't serving him, they are serving us. Also, since we have tenticles instead of feet, 'head and foot' is not a proper term for Zekers." Palminetti rambled before he saw a nameless alien staring at him.

"Sir, why do I hear lightning" The alien said.

"I am glad you asked! That can be explained in two words 'Poor writing'. You see the writer resorts to shocking me in electricity whenever I break the fourth wall. It's a classic example of attempts at humor." Palminetti rambled before being shocked by the biggest lightning bolt yet.

Locke groaned and snuck out of the room. Who the heck chose him for a strategist?


	8. A definite first

Disclaimer: I only own the aliens.

* * *

"For cry'n out loud, go faster Ms. Wormwood." Calvin called as Ms. Wormwood dragged him and Hobbes up the hill on his sled. It would be faster to just walk up the thing by themselves. 

Calvin sighed. This whole slavery thing wasn't working too well. All the stuff he'd gotten was broken. He was feeling sick from the meals of sugar and hamburgers and tuna. Hobbes was scared of them. Things weren't going good.

"Ms. Wormwood, there's something I'd like to ask." Calvin started.

"What do you want, master?" She asked.

"Why are you suddenly slaving for Calvin?" Hobbes finished.

"Why wouldn't we?" Wormwood answered. "After all, you're the Earth Potent!"

Calvin and Hobbes froze. They turned to each other and had a conference.

"Isn't 'Earth Potent' the fake title you gave Galaxoid and Nebular so they'd get you those leaves for homework?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes! And is no human dumb enough to actually believer that I'm the ruler of the planet?" Calvin added.

"Definitely. And does that mean that everyone serving you is alien-involved?" Hobbes continued.

"Yep! And does that mean that we'd better run away in blind panic?" Calvin asked.

"Yes! And should we do it right now?" Hobbes said.

"Of course." Calvin answered.

"ALIENS!" Calvin and Hobbes screamed as they began running away at the same time heading for the house.

* * *

Lock smacked his hand against his face. Palminetti gawked. The two had figured it out. 

"Palminetti, change the clone programming, I'll go get Scar." Lock ordered as he ran into a door. "That didn't happen!"

Lock ran into the King's chambers to find a group of aliens bowing in front of Scar.

"King Scar, the Earth Potent and the tiger are running away." Lock announced.

Scar roared in anger. He slapped away the nearest alien and stood up to face the commander.

"Catch them or die!" He roared.

Lock didn't need anymore convincing. Almost instantly, he began running away. However, Lock ended up bumping into the door, ruining a perfectly dramatic exit.

As Lock stumbled out of the room, Scar turned on the intercom.

"Tell the pilot to land on the nearest building!" Scar ordered. "The Earth Potent will not escape. If anyone messes up, they will die."

Suddenly, Palminetti burst in. "The clone programming is malfunctioning. They aren't doing what they should. They are trying to kill the Potent."

"Gassendi!" Scar muttered. "LOCK, GET IN HERE!"

Lock came zooming towards the room until he bumped into the door again. "Why don't we just remove that damn thing?"

Scar simply glared down the commander. "Get Gassendi out of the dungeon. He's the only one smart enough to do it."

Palminetti cleared his voice. "In case you forgot, I've said repeatedly that I have extensive mechanical training."

Lock pulled out a screwdriver. "You can do it if you can name this item."

Palminetti stared relentlessly. "Screw…Planting…Tool…Thing?"

Scar whacked Palminetti in the head. "Lock! Free Gassendi and get him out over here before the clones kill those two."

"I'm on it!" Lock said as he turned and ran into the wall.

Scar groaned. This wasn't good.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes hid inside the house, as the clones blasted through the walls. 

"We're going to die! We're going to die!" Calvin sobbed.

"All this for a poor grade." Hobbes added.

"Hobbes, do you realize that in five or six minutes, they'll either get us or accidentally make the roof cave in and kill us." Calvin stated.

"Do you have to make things even worse?" Hobbes complained.

Calvin snapped his fingers. "I have an idea! To the garage!"

"Good idea. They're destroying the house. Maybe if we hide in there, they won't kill us as quickly." Hobbes said sarcastically as he followed Calvin.

"And doing nothing is better?" Calvin replied as he opened the closet and grabbed his Dad's jacket.

Calvin reached in the pocket and pull out a set of keys.

Hobbes stared in horror. "Please tell me you're kidding."

"Either we die here, or we risk death." Calvin snapped.

"With you steering, we'll be guaranteeing it." Hobbes said.

"Fine, you can steer!" Calvin replied as he handed Hobbes the keys. " Since you're legs are so short, I'll handle the pedals."

"Okay!" Hobbes said as they ran into the garage

They both ran into the car. Calvin jumped into the bottom and Hobbes jumped onto the seat. Hobbes turned on the ignition.

Suddenly a song came on. Calvin's head perked up. It was BrianWilson by the Bare-naked Ladies

"Hey, I love this song!" Calvin said.

_Drove downtown in the rain nine-thirty on a Tuesday night_

"I don't know how to start!" Hobbes cried.

"I do!" Calvin grabbed the gearshift and pushed it into first gear. Before Hobbes knew what was happening, the car crashed through the wall at full speed. Hobbes screamed as they drove through hundreds of tents. He turned the steering wheel as hard as he could.

_just to check out the late-night record shop._

"Wait! You're not supposed to overturn!" Calvin cried before they all of a sudden span out of control. Calvin slammed on the brakes

Hobbes froze in fear as he saw a bunch of clones staring at them. "This can't be good!"

_Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane_,

In a sudden movement, they all began running after the two. Hobbes screamed.

"What's happening?" Calvin asked.

_but when I'm surrounded I just can't stop_

"Get us out of here!" Hobbes yelled.

_It's a matter of instinct, it's a matter of conditioning, it's a matter of fact._

"Okay!" Calvin stated as he sat down on the gas pedal.

_You can call me Pavlov's dog._

Hobbes literally screamed as they flew past full speed, knocking a few clones away like bowling pins. They crashed through the barely-standing house as Hobbes sat frozen.

_Ring a bell and I'll salivate. How'd you like that?_

"Hobbes! You're supposed to steer around the house!" Calvin complained. Hobbes snapped to his senses. He turned onto the road. He looked to the side to see the clones rampage after them, knocking the house over.

_Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue, cause right now I'm  
_  
"Your dad will kill you when he sees that." Hobbes stammered.

_Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did_

"See what? I can't see! Why would he kill me?" Calvin asked.  
_  
_ Hobbes didn't answer; instead he saw the clones running at incredible speeds. They were catching up.  
_Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did._

"Faster, Calvin, faster!" Hobbes screamed.

Calvin stared up at Hobbes. "Pull the gear shift."

_So I'm lying here, just staring at the ceiling tiles.  
_

Hobbes stared a bit before complying. "How do you know all this?"

_and I'm thinking about what to think about.  
_

Calvin looked around suspiciously. "I don't know! It was magic that I knew despite never driving ever in my entire six-year old life. I didn't drive at all during the Noodle Incident. I wasn't even involved in the Noodle Incident. That was Susie's evil Calvin clone army."

_Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile,_

"I don't need the story again!" Hobbes snapped before a clone jumped ahead of them. He swerved to the side and rode past the clone. Hobbes looked back to see stampeding clones close by. He screamed and turned into Town Square.

_and I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative joke because I am_

"You gotta admire their perseverance."

* * *

Lock pulled open a jail cell. He saw Gassendi tied up, hanging like a bat. 

"Hi Lock! It's been awhile!" Gassendi stated.

_Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did_

"We used the cloning program to fool the Earth Potent. Except, something went wrong and the clones are rejecting the program." Lock said. "Solve this problem and then we will let you free."

_Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did_

"What choice do I have?" Gassendi asked before Lock pulled out a ray gun and shot the ropes.

_And if you want to find me I'll be out in the sandbox_

Gassendi hit the ground and screamed, "You could've killed me."

Lock snorted. "I am not clumsy enough to do that!"

_wondering where the hell all the love has gone_

He bent down and untied the genius.

_Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun_

"Let's go!" Locke said before he ran into the bars of the cell. "I am not having good luck today."

_and singing "Fun, Fun, Fun

* * *

_Hobbes did a sharp turn to the right, driving into a full parking lot.

"_Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did_ ." Calvin sang as Hobbes crashed into a shopping cart, knocking it to the side.

"DON'T SING! I CAN'T TAKE THE SINGING!" Hobbes screamed

_Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did._

Calvin pressed on the brake. "Take a deep breath!"

"WHY ARE YOU STOPPING?" Hobbes cried as the clones came closer rapidly._  
_

_I had a dream that I was three hundred pounds_

"You are in no shape to steer. Take a deep breath and I'll press on the pedal." Calvin reasoned before he felt one of them jumping on the roof of the car. He gulped and pressed down on the pedal. "Never mind!"

_and though I was very heavy,_

Suddenly a blast came from the roof. The duo looked up to see Moe holding a ray gun.

"Good-bye, flea-bait!" Moe said as he reached in to grab the tiger.

_I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground  
_

Hobbes screamed and ducked to avoid Moe. "I am beginning to hate Mondays!"

_I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground_

Calvin smiled. "This is something I've wanted to do the whole time I knew you." Calvin laughed as he slammed on the brakes. The clone of the bully screamed as he fell into a convertible.

_Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground  
_  
The friends high five and drove out of the parking lot.  
_  
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground_

Calvin and Hobbes drove full speed on the expressway before Rosalyn came into sight._  
_

_Somebody help me because I'm_

Hobbes turned to avoid her. However, the clone teenager was too fast. She grabbed the front end and, using amazing strength, held it in place, preventing the two from driving ahead.

_Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did_

Calvin jumped up into the seat with Hobbes. He grabbed the gearshift and put it into reverse. Now in reverse, the car zoomed out of Rosalyn's grip while Calvin pressed the pedal. As Rosalyn stumbled clumsily, Hobbes instantly knew what to do.

_Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did._

Without any encouragement from Calvin, he shifted into drive. Calvin smiled and pressed down on the pedal to the metal. Rosalyn, still stumbling, was hit full on and knocked to the ground.

_Drove downtown in the rain nine-thirty on a Tuesday night._

"You're getting better at this!" Calvin stated.

_Just to check out the late-night record shop._

"Well, us tigers are naturally adaptable to change. We are quick learners and almost always become more skilled then the teacher." Hobbes bragged before crashing into a brick wall. 

_Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane;_

"Hobbes, you mangy idiot…" Calvin yelled as the engine and the radio turned off.

As the clones burst through the door, Calvin and Hobbes could do nothing but scream.

* * *

Gassendi and Lock ran into the King's chambers. Well Gassendi did. Lock missed the door and crashed into the wall. 

"I suppose you will recommend that I also remove the wall. Will that make you less clumsy?" Scar said sarcastically.

"Possibly!" Lock replied as he entered.

"Actually, due to the fact that the writer is always doing that joke, chances are that he will use every opportunity to do that. So Lock is incurably clumsy and will be knocking into walls and doors until he is either dead or the story is done." Palminetti explained.

"What do you mean dead?" Lock questioned as he grabbed Palminetti and began strangling the strategist. "Do you know something? TELL ME!"

"Let me go! I know nothing!" Palminetti screamed.

"I know. But do you know something about the story that I don't!"

"You need to watch what you say!" Gassendi said. "Anyway, sir, I created a device to destroy all clones simply by typing the password and attaching it to one of them. That should make them accept stop accepting every order the Earth Potent throws at them."

"They aren't accepting any of his orders." Lock stated as he continued choking Palminetti.

Gassendi froze. "Then what's wrong?"

"They are chasing after those two and destroying everything they can." Scar answered.

"That would've been personality 98TZ, 'Murderous psychos on rampage that'll kill everything in sight in the most gruesome way possible'. Mainly used when we want to assassinate a planet's potent that we'd otherwise be unable to profit from taking over that planet." Gassendi explained.

"Well then you three are going to have to use Gasendi's device on one of the clones and save the potent." Scar said

"WAKE UP GASSENDI!" Lock screamed as he let go of Palminetti at last, leaving Palminetti to breath in peace.

"Did I faint?" Gassendi said. "Why'd I faint?"

"Because the clones are supposed to kill everything in sight in the most gruesome way possible, you are afraid that you'll get gruesomely killed." Palminetti replied as he gasped for air.

As Gassendi once again fainted, Lock smacked Palminetti in the head. "Why you stinking know-it-all... Look at what you did."

"Go run into a wall!" Palminetti retorted.

Angry, Lock fumed out and walked away into the wall. Palminetti almost chuckled until Lock pull out his blaster and began firing shot after shot at him, sending the alien running for the nearest exit.

"STOP THIS AND GET ABOARD ONE OF THE PODS!" Scar roared.

Lock and Palminetti stopped what they'd been doing and began running out of the room. Of course, Lock did hit the wall first, but he did end up getting out.

"Ahem!" Scar shouted, causing Palminetti to run in.

"Sorry sir, won't happen again!" Palminetti stammered as he grabbed Gassendi and dragged him out of the room.

Scar almost cried. His crew included a cowardly head scientist, an idiotic strategist, and a clumsy commander. And they were his most competent minions!


	9. Calvin meets the Aliens

_Disclaimer: I only own the aliens. And I guess the song  
_

* * *

As the clones punched through the car, Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"This is it. This is how we're gonna die." Hobbes stammered.

Calvin spied something in the back. "So you think."

Before Hobbes could ask about the look on Calvin's face, the Dad clone punched through the roof and nearly grabbed his neck.

Calvin jumped into the back and grabbed out the guitar. Hobbes stared in disbelief. "What is that doing in here?" Hobbes asked.

"You don't wanna know!" Calvin stated.

Calvin quickly stood up in the back seat and began stringing random notes.

"_Are you ready to fight with us? D_o y_ou really know who we are?"_

Hobbes was shocked. It actually sounded good.

_You still want to best the two of us? It's your funeral._

As Hobbes and the clones stared, Calvin waved his hand in the air. All of a sudden, lightning began striking the clones at random.

"_The world ain't ready for us, 'n you aren't either."_

"How are you doing this?" Hobbes yelled as the Dad clone was sent flying by a lightning bolt.

"_Well, get ready for devastation, 'cause we're CALVIN AND HOBBES!"_

At that moment dozens of lightning bolts struck. Unfortunately, Calvin's aim was a bit off and…

"This can't be good," Calvin said as he stared at his guitar that'd been fried by the lighting.

"For a minute there, I thought that we might survive." Hobbes said as he began to sob.

Luckily for those two, an alien pod chose that time to crash into them. As Calvin and Hobbes screamed in shock, the pod opened up, revealing Lock, Palminetti, and a quivering Gassendi.

"Last time I let you drive." Palminetti complained.

"Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga. Are we still alive?" Gassendi stammered.

"So what if I messed up the landing slightly? If we'd have let you drive, the potent would've been killed a dozen times by now."

From inside the car, Hobbes turned to Calvin. "This isn't our day." Hobbes groaned.

"It's better then fighting the entire city." Calvin stated.

"Let's just do this already!" Lock snapped.

Gassendi, with a look of reluctance, walked over to one of the clones and stabbed it with a metallic looking needle. Suddenly, the needle transformed into a pedestal with a keyboard on top.

"Wow…" Calvin said.

Gassendi then started typing something. All of a sudden, all of the clones rose into the air and disappeared into a bright light.

"Now. Let's just get the tiger and leave." Gassendi said.

"WHAT?" Hobbes screamed.

The three all turned to the flipped over car.

"You are an idiot." Calvin whispered.

The three aliens surrounded the car. "Get him!" Lock cried.

Palminetti and Gassendi ran around to the opposite side of the car as Lock ran straight for Hobbes in the driver seat. As Lock bent down to open the car door, Hobbes screamed and burst through the door, making the door slam into Lock's face. As Lock wandered around dazed, Calvin got the idea. He burst out the back door, sending the damaged door off the hinges and into Lock's face.

"Ow!" Lock said as he fell to the ground. He clutched his face and looked at Gassendi and Palminetti, who'd been standing around doing nothing. "Go get him you clowns!"

Gassendi instantly began running as Palminetti stood still. "You can't order me around." Palminetti snapped.

Lock roared in anger. He grabbed the car door and began chasing after the strategist.

* * *

As Lock and Palminetti ran around, Calvin and Hobbes continued to run away from Gassendi. 

"I really regret not running out of town the second that I was first beaten up." Hobbes said in between breaths.

"Oh come on. You wouldn't have done that!" Calvin replied.

"Yeah, I would've. I even bought the bus ticket."

Calvin didn't have time for this. He looked back and saw Gassendi getting closer by the second. He suddenly saw a group of familiar houses.

"Hobbes, we're back in our neighbourhood." Calvin pointed out.

"Wow. No wonder I'm so tired." Hobbes stated.

"Whoa!" Calvin said as he stopped to see his own house in pieces. He gulped and ran for the house. Hobbes stopped as he watched his friend run for his destroyed home.

"What are you doing?" Hobbes asked as he began running after his friend.

"I'm going to see if any of my inventions survived." Calvin said simply.

Hobbes instantly turned away. "I'll see you in the next city. I hope."

But Hobbes wasn't able to escape before being jumped on by Gassendi.

"I've… got… you…" Gassendi gasped breathlessly as he attempted to pin Hobbes to the ground. However, instead of staying down, Hobbes effortlessly stood up and shook off the exhausted alien. And once Gassendi hit the ground, he stayed down

"Okay, that was pointless." Hobbes said before the alien pod flew into sight. The two both groaned. Couldn't things just improve for once?"

The pod landed near-by, and the door opened, revealing Lock and a heavily bruised Palminetti.

"Go get him." Lock ordered.

"I don't take orders from you." Palminetti retorted. However Palminetti changed his mind as Lock mysteriously brought out the car door. Palminetti charged after Hobbes before Calvin ran in and tackled him away.

Calvin stood up and shook off the dust. "Tackled by a six year old. You don't see that everyday."

"You caught me off guard. In a decent story, you wouldn't have been able to manage that." Palminetti rambled as he stood up. I think you can guess what happened next.

"Idiot." Calvin said as he watched lightning strike the strategist.

"Do I have to do everything myself?" Lock stated as he ran for the two. Unfortunately, he predictably crashed into the wall of his pod.

"I guess there isn't intelligent life in outer space after all." Hobbes stated as Lock stumbled around..

"You forget Galaxoid and Nebular." Calvin pointed out.

"I stand by my statement." Hobbes said.

"You will pay." Lock screamed as he managed to get out of the pod and jump after our heroes.

* * *

Somewhere above, a small cargo plane was flying a delivery to some guy far away. I don't know how they didn't notice the fact that one of the houses had been completely demolished, but that is not important. What is important is the fact that their cargo hold was about to lose it's compartment door.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes screamed as Lock jumped after them. They had for some reason forgotten to run away. 

Luckily for them something came falling out of the air. The above-mentioned cargo hold door. Before Lock could reach them, it crushed the alien commander, proving that the doors and walls that keep hitting Lock are a combination of bad luck and clumsiness.

"Someone up there must like us." Calvin said.

"That's all three." Hobbes added.

"What do we do now?"

* * *

Scar watched on the security monitor to see the defeats of his highest-ranking officers. 

"This is the most humiliating thing that ever could've happened." Scar fumed.

"Popcorn?" A near-by alien said as he showed a bag of theatre popcorn.

"What are you doing?" Scar asked.

"I'm eating. Man, this is a good SpongeSid episode." The alien said.

"This is a spy monitor you idiot." Scar snapped.

"I was wondering where SpongeSid was." The alien laughed.

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Scar screamed.

The alien complied. Although before leaving, he did say, "They could've at least included Peter the Starfish or even Squidware."

"The most pathetic looking Potent ever, and my best men can't even get him." Scar said to himself. "MEN! PREPARE ANOTHER POD! I'M GOING IN ALONE!"

"Oh! Can I come?" one of the aliens asked.

"I SAID 'ALONE', YOU IDIOT. PREPARE THE POD." Scar screamed.

"Can I come?" A different alien asked.

"NO! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET SOMETHING THROUGH YOUR HEADS?"

"Can I come?" Another one asked.

Scar came very close to killing his crew at that moment.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes waited patiently for Lock, Gassendi, and Palminetti to wake up. They'd tied up the three by using the partially destroyed garden hose. 

"ATTENTION!" Calvin yelled.

The three all woke up to see that they were tied up.

"My first question is," Calvin continued, "What happened to everyone in town?"

The three aliens stared. Lock simply said, "Why should we tell you?"

Calvin pulled out an umbrella. "Hobbes!" Calvin said as he shielded himself from the three.

Hobbes had hooked the hose up to the neighbour's water valve, seeing as how their own house had been decimated. The hose filled with water and because there were holes in the hose, water sprayed the aliens relentlessly. And since it was January…

"Cold! Cold! We give! We give!" Gassendi screamed.

"Good choice." Hobbes muttered as he turned off the water.

Palminetti sighed. "We had attempted to capture you at your gathering the other day. We'd replaced the fireworks with a device that'd capture any of the earthlings that'd spotted it. Unfortunately for us, you two missed the fireworks. So we captured the two others who'd escaped our plans, and we replaced your entire city with clones."

Calvin stared. "Why didn't you just burst in, kill everyone who tried to stop me, and grab me?"

"Because that bigmouth couldn't shut up and let my plan happen." Lock said.

"Technically, Scar is the one who wouldn't let your plan happen by letting my plan happen." Palminetti explained.

"SHUT UP!" Lock screamed.

"Anyway, they'd planned to let you trust the clones, and then they'd kidnap you when you'd least expect." Gassendi explained. "But you discovered the truth about them and they tried to reprogram the clones to capture the tiger. But they failed and the clones went insane."

"Technically we didn't fail to reprogram the clones, I failed to reprogram the clones." Palminetti said.

"SHUT UP!" Lock cried.

Calvin shook his head. What was wrong with those three?

"And then we were sent to stop the clones and capture the tiger so you would sign us the Earth." Lock finished.

"Second question. How do I free the city?" Calvin asked.

"We can't tell you." Lock said.

"Well technically, Gassendi could, seeing as how he created the device…"

"SHUT UP!" Lock screamed.

Calvin shook his head and turned to the alien he assumed was Gassendi. "C'mon Gassendi, work with me here."

"I… can't… say…" Gassendi stuttered.

"Hobbes!" Calvin said simply.

"WAIT! YOU JUST HAVE TO DESTROY THE…AUGH!" Gassendi screamed before the water turned back on.

"Oops." Hobbes said as he turned off the water again.

"The what?" Calvin asked.

"The…" Gassendi started before an alien pod landed nearby.

"You three imbeciles will not say another word. Do you understand me?" Scar ordered as he stepped out of the pod.

"Technically sir, we would have to say another word in order to answer your question." Palminetti stated.

"SHUT UP!" Calvin, Hobbes, Scar, and Lock all screamed.

"Anyway, Earth Potent. I am going to take my men and your tiger. And you won't be able to stop me." Scar said simply as he grabbed Hobbes with one of his tentacles and ripped the hose keeping his men tied up

Calvin was stunned. This couldn't happen.

"We will send Lock and a squad over to get a contract for the Earth later." Scar continued as he threw Hobbes inside the pod and tore the hose apart.

"No! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" Calvin sobbed as he ran for his friend.

Scar threw his men into the pod. Gassendi and Palminetti landed safely as Lock hit the wall and fell to the ground. "Watch me!" Scar laughed as he grabbed Calvin and threw him back.

As Scar picked up Lock and entered, Calvin stood back up and ran for the pod. Calvin ran and ran, as the pod door slowly closed.

"Noooooo!" Calvin screamed as he dived after the pod, but it was too late. The pod doors were closed and the pod had started flying away. "Come back! Come back!"

Calvin stood still as he watched the pod leave. Hobbes was gone. All those GROSS meetings were gone. Those sled rides were gone. The walks in the backyard were gone. The snowball fights were gone. Even the constant attacks were gone.

Calvin turned to the destroyed house. It wasn't over yet. He would get back Hobbes.


	10. Preparations

Sorry for the long absense I only own the aliens.

* * *

Hobbes struggled as Gassendi, Palminetti, and Lock all carried him into a laboratory full of aliens in lab coats. 

"Cool, a monkey with chicken pox!" One of them said.

Hobbes was just about to point out that he was a tiger when a different scientist interrupted. "Are you an idiot? That's not a monkey with chicken pox! It's a starfish with two heads."

"Not again." Gassendi groaned.

"It looks more like a dog eating a banana." Another scientist said.

"No, a dolphin with a diaper." Yet another scientist added.

"A dolphin with a diaper! Of course." The rest said.

Shocked, Hobbes turned to Lock. "These are your scientists?" He asked.

"Sadly yes." Lock replied.

"What's wrong with them?" Hobbes added.

"Nobody knows, and No one wants to know." Gassendi answered. "And everyone hopes that whatever it is isn't contagious."

"Actually, I believe the problem is just simply that the radiation of this planet's ozone layer apparently fried the brains of our minions, except for a select few. And if it were some kind of brain condition than chances are that, due to the evident stupidity of the entire crew, it is definitely contagious." Palminetti stated

"What does it take to make you shut up?" Lock asked as the three then took Hobbes to an operating table.

"Probably extreme and painful violence unsuitable for this movie." Palminetti answered as he strapped Hobbes to the operating table by the arms and legs.

"See ya later Gassendi!" Palminetti said as he exited the room and Lock crashed into the wall.

Gassendi walked to the corner of the room while a dazed Lock exited. "Charge up the Death Ray."

Hobbes suddenly screamed, "WHAT?"

"Got it!" One said as it turned on a gun like machine. "It'll be done in approximately three glotes."

"Say what?" Hobbes stated.

"Eight Earth Hours!" Gassendi told Hobbes.

"Are you gonna blast the Earth?" Hobbes asked.

"Nope. It isn't nearly powerful enough. We're blasting you." Gassendi stated.

Hobbes struggled to escape. He wasn't going out like this.

"You can't do this. THIS MOVIE IS RATED PG FOR CRY'N OUT LOUD!" Hobbes screamed.

"That is the only reason we're doing this. Dropping you off a building or shooting you in the head is too gruesome." Gassendi said. "This will leave no remnants." Gassendi turned to his scientists. "I'm going for coffee. Do not let him escape."

After Gassendi was gone, Hobbes turned to the nearest alien. "Do you have a guitar?"

"Is it the yellow thing that people eat that looks like a telephone?" The alien said.

"No! That's a banana! I mean the thing with strings that humans with drawings on their bodies use to make music." Hobbes said.

"Oh! Here!" One said as it undid the arm holds and magically pulled out an electric guitar from under Hobbes examination table.

Hobbes shook his head. How did they do that? He grabbed the guitar and began strumming the notes to a song he recognized.

"_I like big tigers and I cannot lie._

_You other brothers can't deny._

_When a tiger walks in, big furry waste._

_Orange and Black stripes in your face, you get…_

_Freaked-out-and-you-start-running-for-your-life!"_

* * *

(Song My Town by the Cartoon Boyfriend starts)

Calvin started kicking through rubble. There had to be something useful.

_This is my town_

He kicked and he kicked until stumbling into something. "Pay dirt!"

_Watch your step if you come around_

Calvin took off the rubble to find a duffle bag filled with his stink bombs.

_I don't think I know you _

"Alright!" Calvin smiled as he slung the bag over his shoulder.

_Well maybe its time to show you_

Smiling, Calvin continued his search.

_This is my home I will be standing here alone._

Soon he reached his trashed room, where he found a familiar water pistol on top of the wreckage. It was the transmogrifyer gun.

_If you think your ready well come on in and ring the bell._

"Now that's what I need." Calvin said as he aimed at a random piece of rubble.

_Hello Mr. Hill finally you got your hit _

He watched satisfied as it changed into the familiar shape of Spaceman Spiff.

_Coming from the nowheres lying across the clovers _

"Hello Calvin." Spiff asked.

_Hello Lady slick did you pull another trick_

"Welcome to the real world." Calvin said as he shot two other pieces of rubble.

_Beautiful makeover make the perfect couple._

"I'm here!" Stupendous man said as he and Tracer Bullet appeared.

_Did you know things look amazing_

"What happened? Who are you? Why am I asking so many questions? Is Elvis really dead?" Tracer Bullet asked. "Answer me!"

_So this is my town_

Calvin smiled at the sight of his three alter egos and put the transmogrifyer gun in the duffle bag. "Welcome. I've got something for you three to deal with."

_Watch your step if you come around_

Just name it!" Spiff replied.

_I don't think I know you_

* * *

Calvin searched through the garage ruins. He found a baseball bat safely in a corner.

_Well maybe it is time to show you._

"Weaponry!" Calvin smiled.

_This is my home_

Calvin put the bat in his duffle bag and began searching through a toolbox. He put in a hammer, a screwdriver, and a monkey wrench.

_I will be standing here alone_

"I'm coming Hobbes!" Calvin said to himself before he found a chainsaw in a corner.

_And if you think you are ready_

Smirking, Calvin looked in all directions before putting the power tool in his duffle bag. As he looked up from putting away the chainsaw, he saw the face of Stupendous Man staring down at him.

_Well come on in and ring the bell._

Stupendous man reached into the bag and took back the chainsaw. "Does this look like it's PG appropriate?"

_Hello shiny suit_

As he trashed the power tool, Calvin cried out to his alter ego. "Spoilsport!_  
_

* * *

_Hanging out in the neighbourhood _

Calvin was in the middle of using the hose to fill up a water balloon.

_You think your such a pro_

He looked over to Tracer who was running the hose.

_You know you're just a blow._

Calvin gave Tracer the thumbs up.

Tracer turned off the hose and Calvin put the balloon into his overflowing duffel bag.

_Hello charming ghost_

"That's it." Calvin said as he ran over to help out Spiff with his building snowballs.

_Have you made your final toast?_

Tracer began dragging away the hose to put in another place. Calvin met with Spiff and bent down to start making snowballs.

_Everything you say is just to see what you can give_

Calvin and Spiff watched as Stupendous Man used his super speed to make a six-foot wall of snow. Stupendous Man waved and went to finish off the wall.

_Did you know things look amazing?_

Spiff, and Tracer stood up to wait for Stupendous Man to finish his wall. The aliens were in for a hell of a time.

_So this is my town_

* * *

Calvin carried his duffel bag to the tree house containing the G.R.O.S.S clubhouse.

_Come on in and ring the bell._

He began climbing up ladder his dad had attach due to Calvin's complaints about Hobbes not letting him up into the treehouse

_Watch your step if you come around_

Calvin removed the stink bombs and water balloons from his duffel bag

_I don't think I know you_

"Not much longer now Hobbes!" Calvin said.

* * *

_So maybe its time to show you_

Palminetti was showing the aliens battle strategies for.

_This is my home_

And not one of them had any idea what was going on. They just sat still and nodded along.

* * *

_I will be standing here alone_

Lock walked into his room to find a bunch of aliens tearing through his room.

"What's going on?" Lock asked.

_And if you think your ready _

"We're looking for those darn Bunny Slippers." One answer

_Well Ballistic stranger rearrange her_

"GET OUT!"

* * *

_I think we're in blow-up danger _

Gassendi worked intently on an unidentifiable machine.

_This is my town_

It would've been easier if he had some kind of assistant helping him, but he could manage without .

* * *

_Watch your step if you come around,_

Scar looked outside a window from inside his ship.

_I don't think I know you_

Soon it would all be his.

* * *

_Maybe its time to show you._

Hobbes played a random song to the scientist as they clapped along.

_This is my home_

Hopefully he'd be able to use their stupidity against them to escape.

* * *

_I will be standing here alone_

Calvin looked out into the distance to see that an alien ship was hovering over the city.

_And if you think your ready_

His best friend was in danger, and everyone he knew was missing.

_Well come on in and ring the bell_

He looked around Stupendous Man, Spiff, and Tracer were all making more snowballs.

_Ring the bell, ring the bell, ring the bell, ring the bell, ring the bell._

"You're done for, Scar." Calvin muttered.

_Come on in, Come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in._

* * *

A bunch of alien sat bored and cramped in the King's chamber. Lock, Palminetti, Gassendi and Scar stood at the front of the room. 

"Can we just get this meeting over with?" Gassendi whispered. "I don't like the idea of leaving my scientists alone!"

"What's the worst that could happen?" Palminetti asked.

Gassendi shook his head. "Once I left them alone with a hostage Klorkin, when I came back, the Klorkin had lost nineteen fingers because of an unauthorised experiment that they'd held. …And Klorkins don't even have fingers."

"Technically, I asked what the worst thing that could happen was. I didn't ask what they had already done." Palminetti said.

"SHUT UP!" Lock and Scar screamed.

"Can we leave now?" One of the aliens asked.

Scar cleared his throat. "NO! Now we are on the verge of stopping the Earth Potent. We just need you all to come with Lock to retrieve the documents so we can be given this planet. There is a chance of resistance, meaning that you may have to fight off the Potent's minions. Are there any questions?"

Scar looked as a bunch of aliens raised their hands. "Excluding questions about Lock's bunny slippers." Almost all of them lowered their hands, making Lock scream in anger. Scar pointed to one at random.

"Does Commander Lock really wear bunny slippers?" It asked.

As Lock groaned in exasperation, Scar pointed to another alien.

"Where is the punch and pie?" The alien asked.

"There isn't any!" Scar replied as he pointed to another one.

"Why are Palminetti and Gassendi here?" The alien asked.

"Because…" Scar said, as he looked thoughtful. "I have no idea!"

"Mind if I answer that question?" Palminetti asked.

Lock was first to answer, "Yep!"  
"I am in this scene for entertainment reasons." Palminetti explained. "The writer is attempting to get in a moment where I'm struck by lightning. But that isn't going to happen. Because I'm far smarter then him…"

As Palminetti was sent flying into the crowd by a bolt of lightning, Scar pointed to another alien.

"Can I have a puppy?" It asked.

Scar glared at the alien. "This meeting is over! Get ready for a battle."

"Against who?" One of the aliens asked.

Scar screamed in anger and reached one of his tentacles to slap the offending alien in the head. "Palminetti just spent half-a-Quarit teaching you goons battle strategies. Weren't you listening?"

"Oh that was what he was doing. I thought that he was just teaching us how to play a game."

"What is wrong with this crew?" Scar yelled out

"I think I know the answer sir…" Palminetti stated as he raised his hand, despite being char-boiled.

Lock was first to react. He reached and grabbed a piece of rubble from the strike of lightning, and threw it at a charred Palminetti's head, knocking the alien unconscious.

"Good throw!" Scar said approvingly. "Meeting adjourned. Get ready for battle."

* * *

"_But the most wonderful thing about tigers, there's much, much more than one!" _Hobbes sang.

The scientists began applauding Hobbes as Gassendi entered.

"That does it. The first thing I do when this is done is hiring a new crew. Or at least join a new one." He moaned. "What are you idiots doing?"

"We're learning through song." One replied readily.

"Learning what?" Gassendi questioned.

"How to learn through song!" The alien answered.

"Where did you get that thing?" Gassendi said as he pointed at Hobbes guitar.

"I don't know!" A scientist replied, causing Gassendi to groan in annoyance.

"How much longer until the death ray goes off?" Gassendi asked.

"Twenty-two Yars." One answered as he checked a timer on the death ray.

"In about fifteen minutes, you will be reduced to nothingness." Gassendi told Hobbes. "And your planet will belong to us."

"Did it ever occur to you things that Calvin IS NOT the Earth Potent?" Hobbes asked.

"Sure. But why take chances and back out." Gassendi said.

"But he isn't." Hobbes replied. "So just back out before you humiliate yourself any further."

Gassendi rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Okay so if this Calvin doesn't rule the world, then who does?" He asked sarcastically.

"Hollywood."

* * *

"They're here!" Spiff said as he jumped down from the GROSS tree house.

Calvin turned to see a hundred or so ships landing just outside of the wall of snow. "Wow! Get into battle positions."

Meanwhile Lock exited his ship to see the large wall of snow surrounding the house.

"Somebody knock down this wall!" Lock ordered.

"NOT IT!" A hundred or so incompetent aliens hollered.

"Lock's it!" One of the aliens said.

Lock groaned in anger. Did he have to do everything alone?

Lock stepped backwards. He looked around and began running (don't ask me how since he has tentacles instead of legs.) at the wall. As he got near-by, he jumped in the air and slammed headfirst into the wall of snow. On impact, Lock screamed and fell onto the ground. Unfortunately, the collision that made Lock scream in pain created only a minor dent in the wall.

"Uh… Lock… You do realize that there is an entrance not too far away from you." Calvin called out from behind the wall.

"Of course I hadn't." Lock screamed as he slowly stood up. "Everybody head for the entrance immediately."

"Why?" One asked

"Because he has candy." Lock lied.

Suddenly, a crazed look came upon the alien goons. They all called out "CANDY!" and raced after the wall.

Lock watched in amazement as the goons combined their strength and ploughed down the wall, coming face to face with Calvin and his water pistol.

"Wow…" muttered Calvin. "That worked well."

Lock stood down and walked in front of all the goons.

"Give us the Earth." Lock called out. "Or prepare to fight."

In response, Calvin sprayed the commander in the face with the water pistol. "I like that second option."

Lock yelped in discomfort as water splashed in his face. The other aliens shrugged and jumped after the six year old. But before they could grab Calvin, a large bang sounded off.

Everyone paused to look at Tracer Bullet, clutching a smoking revolver. "Mind if I join in?" Tracer smiled.

Almost immediately after Tracer's appearance, part of the wall of snow blew up. The aliens once again turned to see that Spaceman Spiff had hi-jacked one of their battleships.

"I wouldn't mind getting in on this battle." Spiff stated.

"Me too!" called out Stupendous Man as he descended on the group.

"You just made a fatal mistake." Lock said. "Minions, I want you to take care of those three wackos while I take care of the Earth Potent. ATTACK!"

The fight for the city had begun.


	11. War

I only own the aliens. But you all should know that by now.

* * *

Almost instantly the goons separated into three equal groups of sixty. One group ran through the gaps and raced after their battle ships to pursue Spaceman Spiff. Another charged after Tracer Bullet who responded by running for the forest. And the final group jumped onto Stupendous Man before the superhero could move.

And Lock began chasing after Calvin who chose to flee for his charred down house. Lock immediately followed in hot pursuit, unaware that Calvin had planned out the route.

* * *

Meanwhile, Stupendous Man struggled from under all of the aliens that were dog piling on him. He just needed to move slightly and he'd be able to escape.

But soon enough, Stupendous Man managed to get into a decent position and jumped into air, sending the aliens flying, and effectively knocking out a large chunk of them. He looked around to see that only thirty-eight were left. And the conscious were stirring.

* * *

Spaceman Spiff zoomed across the sky, followed closely by the group of goons. Luckily, they were very lousy pilots. Spiff looked back to see a substantial gap in between him and the mob.

He did a sudden U-turn and zoomed towards the group, blasting them at random. Many got out of the way. But he easily blasted six of them. Sending the six ships careening into buildings. Fifty-four left. And it would take mere seconds for the ships to regroup.

A pack of aliens wandered through the forest, aimlessly searching for Tracer Bullet. The detective had somehow managed to speed away to safety. They did not know that Tracer Bullet was sitting safely in a tree, a very nearby tree.

* * *

Tracer dropped down onto the ground in a sudden movement and shot the ten aliens that'd been searching. They all fell to the ground sobbing in pain.

"It hurts!" One sobbed. "It's unbearable."

Tracer examined the sobbing aliens. No wounds. The bullets had bounced right off of them. Fortunately, it'd been painful enough to subdue them.

Fifty were left. And the cries of pain were attracting more of the

* * *

Lock ran after Calvin. Luckily, Calvin was way faster than the competent commander. Lock began to run even faster than he had been previously as Calvin stopped to stop and bend down. He forgot to think about why Calvin would stop.

As he neared the kid, Lock jumped after Calvin. Just as the six year old pulled a baseball bat out of the snow.

"Sorry Lock, but this is going to hurt." Calvin said before he swung and hit Lock in mid air. Making Lock drop to the ground in extreme pain.

"Bye!" Calvin said as he began to run again. Lock slowly began to stand up. He wasn't going to lose to that kid.

* * *

Stupendous Man watched as the conscious enemies that he'd knocked away stood up to attack. Six of them jumped after the superhero. Stupendous Man just looked around and flew into the air, causing the idiots to crash into each other. He watched as the aliens were scrambled up into a pile. Stupendous Man descended onto the six. And knocked each one of them hard in the head.

Six more were down, thirty-two to go. And none of them were ready to give up.

* * *

Spaceman Spiff watched as most of the pursuing ships began to resume chasing him. He looked back to see that some were taking a different route, probably to try and cut off the explorer.

Spiff looked ahead to see a small gap between two skyscrapers. He tilted the battleship onto its side to barely get through. The pursuing aliens attempted to get out of the way. But most were incapable of escape and crashed into the buildings. Only ten managed to survive.

Including the aliens that had taken another route, there were twenty-three left. And Spiff only knew the location of less than half of them.

* * *

Tracer Bullet fired a series of bullets as a trio of aliens ran after him, blowing away the three.

"Come and get it!" Tracer said as he reloaded the gun and fired at four more charging enemies. But before Tracer could shoot anymore, an alien managed to knock the gun out of Tracer's hands. The detective replied by punching the alien in the head, KO-ing the goon.

That left forty-two left to fight. And Tracer no longer had a weapon.

* * *

"Slow down Earthling!" Lock called out as he ran.

"Lock! Wrong way!" Calvin said as he stopped by a pile of snowballs, to watch Lock running around in circles, apparently an after-effect of being hit in the head by the baseball bat.

"Oh!" Lock replied as he got back his bearings and chased after Calvin, only receive a barrage of snowballs in the face.

* * *

At last, all the conscious aliens that had attacked Stupendous Man finally stood up. Stupendous Man flew in the air and charged after one of the aliens. He easily ploughed over the thug.

Three nearby aliens jumped onto Stupendous Man and rode on him Piggy back style. Stupendous Man simply jumped onto his back, squishing the trio. The super hero grabbed the three unconscious thugs piled on his back and tossed them into another trio of goons, also defeating the three.

Twenty-five left, and Stupendous Man was having the time of his life.

* * *

Spiff zoomed ahead of his ten pursuers. He wondered where the heck the other thirteen were as the ten began to catch up.

Spiff looked back to see that the ten were quite close. He suddenly braked, allowing the other ten to zoom right past him. As the ten tried to turn back, Spiff easily blasted the group one by one.

Thirteen were left. Only, Spiff had no clue of where any of them were.

* * *

Tracer Bullet looked around in an attempt to locate his revolver.

All of a sudden, an alien jumped in front of Tracer. The detective immediately grabbed the alien by the tentacle and flipped it over his head.

Tracer then jumped in the air and grabbed onto a three-foot tree branch. The detective snapped it off, and swung it around like a staff.

An alien jumped from a tree, but before it'd even hit the ground, Tracer Bullet had smashed the goon in the stomach.

A dozen goons came out of nowhere and chased after the detective. Tracer rolled to the side and swung the branch to trip on of the aliens. He jumped forward and jabbed another alien in the forehead.

The one of them jumped after Tracer. Tracer jumped back and lifted his branch, so that it impaled itself on the branch, leaving the alien to fall to the ground in pain.

A trio ran after Tracer. Tracer swung and knocked two into a heap. The third avoided the branch and neared Tracer, prompting the detective to punch it in the belly. Tracer looked around to finally see the revolver. He dropped the staff, jumped at the revolver, and grabbed it. Tracer simply aimed and shot what remained of the nearby goons.

That made fourteen more down. Now there were only twenty-eight of them. And Tracer Bullet had regained his favourite weapon.

* * *

After tossing the last snowball, Calvin began running away again. Lock took a deep breath and followed (You've just got to admire the guy's perseverance).

Calvin looked at the ground to see his Transmogrifyer Gun in the snow. He staged tripping and grabbed him.

Calvin turned to see Lock running full speed. He aimed the Transmogrifyer Gun at the snow right in front of Calvin. As Lock neared, Calvin shot the snow and transmogrified it into a brick wall, causing a running Lock to crash into it painfully.

"What the hell just happened?" Lock asked as he lay on the ground.

"It involves complicated meta-physics, and recent scientific knowledge." Calvin replied as he walked around the wall and pointed it at Lock. "Now, you're done."

Lock immediately whacked away Calvin causing him to drop his weapon, which would transform a nearby tree into a goldfish. Calvin landed a fair distance away from Lock.

Lock was about to grab the kid and kill him. If not for a deafening explosion in the woods, he would have.

Lock turned to see what had happened as Calvin got up and began running away again. That had been a close call.

* * *

Stupendous Man looked around as the remaining thugs. It looked like an easy fight. None of them presented any challenge so far.

"Give up." Stupendous Man said. "I haven't even broken a sweat."

The aliens began to huddle up together. Stupendous Man didn't even care until they all pulled out their ray guns, one for each tentacle.

"Okay. This could be a problem…" Stupendous Man muttered. As he zoomed in the air, the aliens began firing shot after shot at the superhero. Every shot miraculously missed.

The aliens stopped shooting as an explosion rang out in the forest. Stupendous Man used the opportunity to zoom into them, bowling them over and leaving fifteen of them unconscious.

Ten left. This battle was almost over.

* * *

Spiff zoomed around searching for the remaining ships. He was not going to let them get the jump on him.

As he began to fly over the forest, he saw Tracer aiming his weapon at a group of goons. While he searched, he may as well help out the detective out.

Spiff flew right above Tracer and made a U-turn. He fired a bomb into one of the trees, just a few dozen feet away from Tracer. It was close enough to blow a bunch of goons away, but just far enough to not blow apart Tracer Bullet. Spiff saluted Tracer and zoomed off

Unfortunately for the Space Explorer, the explosion drew the attention of the absent battleships. Spiff watched as they began to surround him. He quickly fired shots into two of the ships, sending them careening to the ground. But before he could get any of the others, Spiff received a shot to the wind of his battleship, causing his ship to spiral out of control. As he span around randomly, he fired shots, taking down three of them. But he was unable to avoid crashing into the ground.

Spiff got out of the crashed ship watching as the remaining ships began to land so they could finish him off. He pulled out his blaster in preparation of battle.

Eight were left. And Spiff had mere seconds before he had to engage into a fight.

* * *

Tracer watched as twenty of the aliens marched after him. He fired a sea of bullets into the group, taking out half-a-dozen of them. Tracer knew one thing. He stood no chance of taking on all of them.

Before he could shoot anymore, Spaceman Spiff flew above. He did a U-Turn and fired a bomb, sending the entire group flying into the distance and just barely missing the detective.

Tracer looked around in horror as he saw the remaining aliens surrounded him. He aimed his gun wildly.

Eight left. Things had come down to this final battle.

* * *

Calvin looked back as he ran from Lock. The commander was just about to catch up with him. He could see the G.R.O.S.S. tree house nearby.

Calvin dashed up to it. He jumped onto the rope ladder and began climbing as fast as he could. Lock ran over. Unable to reach Calvin, he began to climb up the rope ladder after the kid.

Calvin quickly entered the tree house to see a lot of water balloons piled around. Lock had seconds before falling water balloons bombarded him.

Lock screamed in agony as the freezing water soaked his flesh. Calvin knew that the commander was almost done. He would save Hobbes.

* * *

Stupendous Man watched as the remaining aliens charged at him. The superhero bent down and made a pair of snowballs. He tossed them into two of the aliens, sending the duo flying in recoil.

As the remaining aliens neared, Stupendous Man jumped in the air and kicked two of them away. The hero landed on his back and quickly jumped to his feet so he'd be able to punch away another one of the aliens.

The remaining five ran past him, Stupendous Man bent down and once again made a pair of snowballs. He span around and tossed snowballs into two of the alien goons. The pair was sent flying away leaving only a trio of goons left.

"My Stupendous sense is tingling." Stupendous man said. "I believe that I am going to win."

The three made a desperate charge. Stupendous Man jumped in the air and did a spinning kick. The trio were easily knocked away.

Stupendous Man looked around at the unconscious aliens all over the area.

"I rule.

* * *

Spaceman Spiff blasted one of the aliens as it left its battle ship, sending the alien flying back. He span around and shot a ship as it landed, making it explode. As a charred alien exited the ship and collapsed on the ground, Spiff turned to see that the other ships had all landed. They all exited and chased after him.

Spiff randomly shot at the aliens, blowing away five of them. The final alien managed to near the spaceman. Spiff jumped to the side causing the alien to stumble around wildly before being blasted by Spiff.

Spiff blew on his blaster and put it away. He casually got into one of the abandoned battleships and turned it on

* * *

Tracer Bullet fired immediately as the aliens surrounded him. Before they'd gotten their blasters out, three of them had been shot away. Tracer ducked and fired a shot at another as a series of shots zoomed over him.

Tracer stood up, and shot another one. He rolled to the side and fired another bullet, leaving only two of them left.

The other two realized that they going to lose that fight. They realized that they had to run away if they wanted to spare themselves the pain of being hit by a bullet.

"And I'm the winner." Tracer said

* * *

Calvin reached over and grabbed the duffle bag. He quickly jumped from the tree house, landing on the freezing cold Lock. Lock let out a long scream of pain and passed out. Calvin raised his arms in the air out of celebration. He had defeated the only competent alien that had attacked.

"You shouldn't have even tried." Calvin said to the unconscious body of Lock.

Calvin turned to see Stupendous Man flying after him, Spaceman Spiff landing a battleship nearby, and Tracer Bullet emerging from the woods.

"All of them are defeated." The superhero said.

"Victory!" Spiff added.

"They never stood a chance." Tracer bragged.

"Great!" Calvin said. "Because it's time to go after their mother ship and save Hobbes."

"And the city?" Tracer added.

"Uh… sure… I guess…" Calvin said. "I mean... it wasn't a priority or anything. Can I only just save some of them?"

"I don't think so." Spiff said.

"Darn. Okay, we can save them all."

"Well, I can fly someone on my back." Stupendous Man suggested.

"And this thing can seat two." Spiff pointed out.

Tracer and Calvin looked at each other quickly before breaking out in a sprint. Calvin was lucky enough to get there first.

"Ha hah!" Calvin stated as he climbed in.

Tracer groaned and walked over Stupendous Man who put the detective over his back.

It was all coming down to one final standstill

* * *

Gassendi entered the lab to find Hobbes playing guitar again.

_"Now, I know how far you'll go,_

_"To have the best pet ever, the American Tiger."_

"Take away the guitar." Gassendi ordered. "It's almost time to blast him."

As one of the scientists began to reach for the guitar, Hobbes pulled it out of his reach. "No it isn't!"

Gassendi sighed in annoyance and grabbed onto the guitar. "Sorry, but I am not going back to that dungeon.

"And I'm not going to be fried by a death ray." Hobbes replied as he pulled on it.

"He hung me upside down in a dark cage for two day. I won't go back in that thing."

"Locked in a cage? Big deal. I'm going to be killed." Hobbes retorted.

"You're going to be killed anyways. At least choose a quick and painless death while letting me survive." Gassendi pointed out.

Hobbes paused momentarily. "That is a very good point."

"Then let go." Gassendi said.

"No way!" Hobbes answered.

At that moment, Palminetti burst into the room. "We need to blast the tiger. NOW! The earthlings defeated Lock and his army."

"Oh no. How many of the crew is still on the ship?" Gassendi asked.

"That depends. How many scientists do you have?" Palminetti said.

"Twelve."

"Well then, including you, me, and Scar… Fifteen." Palminetti answered.

"Well, if I'm gonna blast him, I'll need to remove the guitar." Gassendi replied.

"I'm not losing it." Hobbes said.

It was at that moment when Palminetti pulled out a bunch of ray guns and aimed them at Hobbes. Hobbes immediately put down the guitar and allowed Gassendi to chain him up.

"Uh… wasn't that a bit harsh?" Gassendi asked.

"You do realize that we are probably going to lose this battle. We need to make sure that the Earth Potent pays for defeating us. So we have to eliminate his best friend!" Palminetti reasoned, causing Hobbes to lose the ability to breath.

"This is twisted!" Gassendi said.

"Why don't you go tell Scar that?" Palminetti questioned as he left.

Gassendi sighed. He didn't like this, but he wasn't going to let himself be imprisoned again.

Hobbes could barely breath. There was a chance that Calvin might be able to save him, but not much of one.

* * *


End file.
